Post Graduation Depression
Ever since i could remember, life went by so smoothly. From graduating high school i went straight to university. In university, everything regarding personal growth was going how it is supposed to go - it was moving forward, i was learning and experiencing both good and bad.
I was so excited to graduate! I was always planning my future job, how i will change my entire style to look like Jessica Pearson from the tv series Suits, how i will become a millionaire by the time i am 25 years old, finally owning a house (I LOVE HOUSES, i have an entire pintrest of how my future home MUST look like) etc. It was a rather much anticipated time.
Little did i know that life had its own plans for me. This feeling was completely foreign to me. I could not handle this phase in my life. I have always been an over achiever, a planner and now my plans and timelines aren't going accordingly. This was supposed to be the beginning of my life. It was my time to takeover. To make my parents proud. To work hard and treat my parents. To give back to my community.
Coming back home was refreshing at first after living alone and having to do everything by yourself, but this was because in mind it would only be for a very short period of time. Readjusting from living alone to permanently moving back into the family house, asking for permission, having everyone in your business started taking its toll.
What made this time of my life even worst was the constant questions from my family and friends. Everyday someone has a suggestion for what I had to do in life or a question of what am i going to do apart from staying home and being idle. It was so bad that i stopped replying family whatsapp messages, i stopped going out with friends in order not to hear about how one is doing so well and i would be expected to say something exciting as well. Man it was terrible!
"It’s no longer about making sure you’ve done the extra reading and taking part in seminars, but about being expected to land a job, have a plan and start saving for things like a mortgage". This has become engraved in our minds that individually we set these high expectations on ourselves as well.
2016 was the worst year for me so far! All people on my social media or around me saw was that i kept traveling. As long as i was in nice places doing fun things, people would assume i am fine. Nobody knew that most of those nights i would sleep in tears or my head was full of anxiety.
My advice to anyone that has not graduated yet or will soon or even already have, please know that you are not alone. Please do not see someone with a good career and envy them, they probably experienced this stage in their lives as well. I am not going to say be strong, don't be weak, cry, be depressed, it will motivate you. Your brain will generate all kinds of business ideas, you will know who your real supporters are, you will be very grateful and appreciative when you get a job, you will learn to save and economize. Trust me, it will pass but let yourself hurt, do not hide it. It is part of the process! xo